Take back your language!

Someone I know well, now a former journalist, said he gave up being an atheist because, if there were no Hell, "Where would we put the editors?"
Any of us who have written letters to the editor know what he means.
Here is an example. In early February, 2005, I wrote a whimsical, tongue-in-cheek pontification to the Chattanooga (Tennessee) Times Free Press. Everything was spelled correctly, all the punctuation was just as it should be, and the grammar and style were perfect for what was intended.

Editor, Times Free Press

Dear Editor,
In your edition of Saturday last, you published a story on the new steeple for Ridgeview Baptist Church.
Your reporter – and editors – said the parcel of land upon which the church sits is “pie shaped.”
That is wrong.
The piece of land in question is more or less triangle shaped.
Pie are round.
Oh, I know some scientists and mathematicians go around saying “Pie are square,” but real people know – and I mean KNOW, know from real life, not from merely theoretical musings – that pie are round.
Now I will admit that cobbler can be square, but PIE are round.
Possibly what your reporter – and editors – meant was the parcel is shaped like a “piece of pie,” and perhaps the preferred term is “wedge shaped.”
Yours sincerely,
Professor Michael Morrison

Below is the moronic version the "news"paper published:

In your edition last Saturday, you published a story on the new steeple for Ridgeview Baptist Church. Your reporter and editors said the parcel of land upon which the church sits is “pie-shaped.” That is wrong.
The piece of land in question is more or less triangle-shaped. Pies are round. Oh, I know some scientists and mathematicians go around saying “Pies are square,” but real people know – and I mean know from real life, not from merely theoretical musings – that pies are round.
Now I will admit that cobbler can be square, but pies are round. Possibly what your reporter and editors meant was the parcel is shaped like a “piece of pie,” and perhaps the preferred term is “wedge-shaped.”